Ever since certain Hollywood celebrities decided to “consciously uncouple” back in 2014, the idea of a “good” divorce has become more mainstream. Although a divorce is often emotional, and there may be a lot of pressure and stress for all parties, it doesn't have to be a fraught situation. It is possible to have a good divorce if everyone is keen to make it happen.
Approach the divorce practically
Try to keep your interactions with your partner calm as possible. Try and keep the channels of communication open if possible. When you’re discussing change, or how the relationships involved should move forward, give your reasons and take the time to fully explain. It’s also best to avoid talking to your partner if you’re feeling upset, it’s late at night or you’ve had a few drinks. If you feel that your relationship has gone beyond the point of civility then it might be worth letting solicitors handle things.
If you have children, focus on their interests
The courts prioritise the wellbeing of children in divorce situations and so should a divorcing couple. Before you look at what you need from the divorce, work out the best way to proceed for your children. Try to protect your children from the proceedings, especially where arguments and anger are involved.
Avoid the most common mistakes
- Ignoring key correspondence. You might want to delay proceedings, frustrate your ex-partner, or you might be busy trying to cope with this big life change. However, key correspondence – whether from the courts or solicitors – should be dealt with swiftly and efficiently to ensure you don’t create time lags that increase costs.
- Using your children in the process. It’s tempting to use your children to hurt an ex-partner, especially if they have behaved badly or been unfaithful. However, this will cause considerable upset and harm to your children that may never heal
- Sticking your head in the sand. If you don’t want to be divorced you may feel inclined to try and ignore the process. However, the reality is that this is happening and you need to engage with what’s going on to ensure that you are treated fairly and can begin to move on.
Mediation might be the key to a good divorce
The presence of an objective third party can make it much easier to reach agreement where key matters are concerned, such as financial settlements or arrangements for children. Mediation is all about non-confrontational methods that help to find common ground. It is possible to divorce in a way that feels positive. Although the circumstances may be difficult, if a divorce is carefully managed, it can allow everyone to move on in a healthy way.
At Rowlinsons Solicitors, we have a team of family law experts that can help you achieve a good divorce, call 01928 735 333 to arrange your free initial meeting.